Darker Side of the Sun

"Humans are worthless, feeble minded creatures that run purely on the thoughts and feelings of those around them. They'd just as soon throw you under the avalanche to save themselves. That is why we destroy them. We've been exiled to these useless world and it's our duty to take it from these pathetic humans and make it our own world. We are above humans, they should be worshiping us! And instead, we hide who we are from them! Disgraceful! Use humans as your playthings, as your entertainment. Remember, Loki. The only person in this world you can trust is yourself and your brother. Keep yourself closed off from others and good things will happen for you."

Since he was a child, he and his brother were raised by their mother. She taught them everything they needed to know; self defense and destruction. Not once, had she enveloped her twins in her arms as a mother would and Loki came to appreciate such sentiments. Love was a weakness, family was a weakness. If he planned to survive in this world and rid the world of humans, he needed to stay strong and that meant hiding his true self away from the rest of the world. There were times, when he and Ren had been very young, they'd shared each other's vulnerability but as time wore on, their hearts' closed off and they became to separate. Loki assumed it was what had torn his brother away from the path of destruction and joined the Angels in his quest to kill him. 

The wound wouldn't stop bleeding and Loki couldn't hold back the tears that leaked from his eyes, his lower lip trembling as he bit back a sob. His wing was splattered with blood from the hole in his side and he was stricken by the sheet horror of the sight. From the cave they'd crawled into, lightening lit the sky, followed by the deep rumble of thunder. Before him, outlined by the flames of the fire he'd created, Ren was heating up a piece of metal, brow furrowed as he concentrated on his work. Loki let out a quick sob and Ren flashed him a glare. "Shut up, big baby! If mother saw you now, she'd whip you an inch from your life! It's your own stupid fault the lion attacked you! Didn't I tell you to leave it the fuck alone?" He stood from the fire, the piece of metal looking like a magikal weapon in Ren's hand as the tip burned bright red. Loki whimpered, backing up till his back hit the cave wall. "Ar-are you going to tell Mother?" he asked, eyes never leaving the white hot end of the metal. 

Ren continued to glare at him. Even for being a child, outlined by the fire with the flash of lightening in the background, Ren truly looked terrifying. He grabbed Loki's wrist and yanked him to the side as he touched the hot tip against Loki's skin, a sizzle echoing in the room as the smell of burnt skin radiated. Loki let out a feral scream of pain.

All the people he'd met, all the people he'd come into contact with, none of them knew the true Loki; the one who wasn't corrupted by Magik, the one who the Goddess saw as being Angelic. And it was this part of Loki, that Anya touched. If anyone else had given him such a speech, he probably would have ripped out their throat but he felt himself stunned when she spoke so brazenly. It was almost the same way Ren treated him. He'd put up with his shit for a little while and then bring him down a few notches just to get a few days worth of peace. 

Loki stared at her, blue eyes full of surprise and curiosity. Her actually speech, the part he was supposed to take to heart, fell on deaf ears. After all, everything that she spewed was common sense. He knew if he acted differently, he'd be treated differently. It was rule number one of human nature. The only thing that really made him speechless was her comment about having a friend. That was one thing Loki never had. His brother had stayed by his side simply out of duty. His mother had pushed onto Ren, at a young ago, that he was supposed to protect him and he'd taken it to heart. Ren, after they became teenagers, hadn't been able to stand being in Loki's presence anymore. Loki had manipulated and scared humans into his service. He'd never actually earned anyone's trust or friendship. It had been a foreign concept to him. Standing before him, after all the things he did to, she was still offering to be his friend on certain conditions. 

Centuries of practice kicked into gear and he quickly closed himself off once more, the vulnerability gone. Instead, his blue eyes became hard again and his smirk returned to his face as he reached out a patted her cheek. "You should have been a motivational speaker." he teased before walking into the dining room where she'd laid out their dinner. 


((What a jackass XD))

He'd only managed a few bites before she was demanding his attention. Merely out of curiosity, he followed her. He wasn't disappointed. He leaned a hip on the island, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched her start to pull things out of the cabinets. Fun? He did things for fun all the time! Of course, his idea of fun and other's idea of fun were two completely different things. Loki enjoyed the pain and torment of others and found great sport in creating such things. However, he didn't think Anya was pulling ingredients from the cabinet in the hopes to make someone's life a living Hell. He threw a smile onto his face but inside, his heart was pounding. What did this chick have up her sleeve? Did he look like a house wife?

"I have all kinds of fun." he mused. "In fact, just tonight, I had fun with you. However, I think your idea of fun and my idea of fun are on two different spectrums so, to satisfy your questions, I'll answer you with a no, I always hurt someone when I'm having fun and no, I have never actually sat back and relaxed because, if you've forgotten, not only do I have the Silver Cross breathing down my neck for my purifying, I have a serial killer for a twin who thinks my death will save him somehow." Of course, he could have just given her a straight yes or no answer but he was just trying to stall her, not liking the idea of whatever she had planned. 

Loki had his fair share of fights during his long life but not many he'd actually inserted himself into. Most of the time, he just allowed his shadows to do the work for him. Though, he wouldn't consider this a "fight", it certainly took him by surprise to suddenly have something thrown into his face. His first reaction was nothing at all. He stumbled backwards, blinking the white powder from his eyes and spitting it out of his mouth. When he finally looked up at her, blue eyes gazed expressionless out of a mask of white. A part of him reared up with anger. How dare she! He wanted to teach her a lesson, maybe chain her to the basement for a few days with no sunlight, food or water. Maybe even naked. That would get her screaming. But then, there was a part of him that paused and really looked at her. There was nothing remotely vengeful or angry in her stance or expression in fact, the innocent look on her face brought a mischievous smile to his face. Was this fun? Was this her version of fun? Innocent, harmless activities that simply made the other laugh?

He moved away from the island and walked towards her, his face still a mask of white. He got up real close to her, to the point where their chests almost touched and he reached around her, grabbing his own handle of flour and with a snort of laughter, he dumped it onto her own head. The white powder rained down over her hair and face and forced a white cloud to hover above them. Loki felt a stirring of something deep within his mind, something that allowed the smile to still stay on his face. He didn't want to admit any feelings. Feelings like these were a weakness. He was a killer, created and born to rain down destruction of the species that inhabited earth. And here he was opening himself up to her, showing her a part of his vulnerability he'd kept closely locked away. In fact, it was so rare that even the tiniest hint of a threat, he'd close himself back up again and return to torturing and killing, even if that meant Anya. He'd still wouldn't hesitate to chain her up in the basement, naked, till she screamed herself to death. 

She dipped her finger into the whipped cream and smeared it across his already flour covered face and he surprised himself by letting out a laugh. Finding himself in the moment, he grabbed an egg and cracked it, spilling the contents onto the top of her head while he reached into the whipped cream container and pulled out a finger full and quickly stuck it in his mouth, the smile never leaving his lips. Yes, this was his first food fight and yes, it was the first fun he'd ever had where it didn't involve hurting someone else. Not that he was looking to confide in anyone about his sudden revelation. Hell, he was afraid if he admitted to himself, his walls would be thrown up and he'd end up like he was only a few hours ago; cold and merciless. So instead, he just acted with the first things that popped into his head without giving them much thought. He reached out and grabbed her waist before lifting her up and sitting her on the counter before him. He stepped away from her, least she decide his actions were too bold and reached into the cabinet to her left, routing around till he pulled out some more ingredients. 

"You may be surprised," he started, walking to the fridge and pulling out some ingredients. "That I can actually cook quite well." He walked back towards her and reached into the whipped cream once more before placing a dollop onto her nose. "I'm going to make you something. You just sit there and look cute." Cute? He blinked. Where was this coming from? He turned away from her, hoping to hide his surprise from her as he pulled out a mixing bowl. Because of who his father was, both he and Ren had never been interested in the opposite sex, or any sex for that matter. It was something they'd gotten out of their system at a young age from just being around their parents. Loki had never truly seen another female as being a female of interest. To him, both genders were non-existence. He chanced a glance at Anya and found a warmth spreading in his chest before went back to his task. For someone who had hated him, withstood his punishments and was now going out of her way to make him laugh, was something Loki wasn't used to and he was actually finding himself drawn closer to her. He supposed he could treat her better, as she had originally suggested. But being here, in this house, and being back in the real world were completely different scenarios. Here, he was able to forget about everything and everyone and open up his vulnerability to her but he'd slam it shit as soon as they headed back to Vegas.  

He went about his cooking, lost in his own thoughts. He was overcome with just how much her presence comforted him. He could almost forget the outside world. Even having Anya relaxed and smiling seemed to lift the heavy tension that was usually in the air that normally made her lash out. It was possible that if they kept this cool and collected attitude towards each other, he would be able to trust her and maybe, just maybe, he'd have his first friend.

He threw his creation into the oven and stood back up, walking back over to her. "You're going to love it." he teased her. "I spent countless years in multiple countries, learning everything that I could and that included culinary dishes. This one hails from this very country." He stopped before her, standing just before her knees. As if working on autopilot, he reached his hands out and gently placed them on her knees, his blue eyes on hers. He had to admit, even covered in food, she certainly knew how to hold the "cute" look. Without thinking, he leaned forward and licked the whipped cream off of her nose, grinning at her as his eyes twinkled mischievously. 

For a brief moment, his expression faltered, a look of hurt crossing his face but it was quickly swallowed up by the hard outer shell he always wore, instantly hiding the vulnerability he'd been showing her. Once more, he was back to his usual self. He smirked at her and backed away, his hands leaving her knees. How could he have let himself be so stupid? He'd never opened himself up like that before, certainly not this long and certainly not to just anyone. There were only a few people in his life that had seen that side of him; Ren and Lilith.

He stumbled, hitting the wall and leaving a streak of red. The floor swayed and the darkness at the corners of his eyes was slowly taking over. He wouldn't be able to stay up right much longer. He knew she was here. He could always find her if he needed her. He struggled down the long hallway and finally, feel against the door at the end of the hall. There was only a few seconds before the door was thrown open and he found himself falling to the carpeted floor, pain lacing across his chest. "What the- Loki!" The sheer concern in her voice made his heart sputter. She did care. Maybe he had a chance at survive after all. He was being turned over, a fuzzy face looking down into his. "Who did this to you?!"

"I'm sorry, mother..." he whispered. "I've failed you..."

Lilith had healed Loki, much to his surprise and didn't comment on his weakness, for that he was grateful, and allowed him to continue on. But what right did he have to show Anya such vulnerability? She'd, so far, given him nothing to trust her on. He still found it suspicious that she wasn't afraid of him, even after all the chances he'd given her. Even now, with his hard shell brought back, he wanted to make her scream, make himself feel better, remind himself that he was a demon meant to destroy the human race. "Whatever the Hell I want to do." he told her. 

So she wasn't just some innocent doll. She also had blood on her hands and a past to bury. Had she been subjecting herself to his punishments simply to atone for her own sins? He stared at the locket, the meaning of a family foreign to him. Would he have felt the same if he'd woken to find he'd killed his whole family? Probably not. He'd probably be elated. But he was overlooking this. She wasn't showing him the locket and spilling her secrets because she wanted him to understand, she was doing it because she was, also, opening up her own vulnerability to him and it actually stunned him. How was he supposed to feel? What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to laugh at her or was he supposed to sympathize with her? These were feelings he didn't know or understand. Instead, he acted. He went towards her, his eyes never leaving hers, took her head gently between his hands and kissed her. But it wasn't forceful, it wasn't aggressive; it was full of passion and the all the vulnerability he held inside himself. This was his true self. With all the dirt and debris wiped away, he was nothing more than an empty man who had nothing in this world. Her body was hot against his and he felt his heart racing. He'd found enjoyment over the centuries by pushing people away from him, by making them hate him and fear him but never had he realized he could get the same enjoyment by going to the opposite ends of the spectrum. He even let his wings out, stretching out to touch each end of the kitchen before wrapping around them like a warm black down blanket. For once, he could block out the world, pretend it was only he and Anya that existed. It would solve all his problems. She had changed him, in a way he'd never thought would have happened. Sure, it might have only been a change towards her but he was certainly a different man since he'd bumped into her. Would he leave this house and still kill someone? No doubt but she had managed to break through the ice his mother had put over his heart and it was a change that could only mean his destiny had changed.